The Village We Weren’t Meant to Live Without

You know those friends who had babies before you, and you honestly didn’t get it? The exhaustion, the fog, the way even a shower feels like a luxury. And then you have your own baby, and suddenly it all makes sense. That’s when those friends show up differently. They don’t need to ask what you need—they just know. They bring you food. They check in. They listen when you cry and remind you you’re not failing.

We live far from family by choice, and while both of our moms came to visit after Lowen was born, we didn’t really have a built-in village. No aunt dropping by to fold laundry, no grandma rocking the baby while I napped. It was just us, fumbling through, learning how to be parents on the fly.

But then there were the friends who showed up. Who left a meal on the porch when I was too tired to answer the door. Who took five minutes to load my dishwasher while I nursed. Who held Lowen so I could take the longest, hottest shower of my life. It doesn’t sound like much, but in those fragile weeks, months, hell the entire first year— it was everything. Life-saving, even.

We were never meant to do this alone.

And yet, so many of us are. We live in a culture that praises independence but forgets that motherhood was always meant to be rooted in community. The older I get, the more I see how deeply we need each other. Not just in the sweet moments, but in the messy, sleepless, unraveling ones too.

That’s the heart behind Ever & Alder for me. It’s not just about shirts or blog posts or meetups—it’s about building the kind of community I craved as a brand-new mom. A village that shows up with casseroles and paper plates, that takes the toddler to the park so you can rest with your newborn, that grabs your trash on the way out the door because they know you haven’t gotten around to it.

That’s the goodness. That’s the way forward. That’s the vision I keep holding onto.

Because motherhood was never meant to be a solo journey. And I’m endlessly grateful for the people in my life who remind me of that every single day.