Relearning to Listen: Postpartum, Intuition, and the Long Way Back to Yourself

I’ve always wanted to run a half marathon. It’s one of those bucket list goals that’s quietly lived in the back of my mind for years. So recently, I finally said, “Why not?” I started training—with Murphy, our golden retriever, and pushing Lowen in the stroller. At first, it felt so good. I had that hopeful, buzzy feeling like holy shit, I’m actually going to do this.

But as my runs got longer, something shifted. I started feeling intense pressure and pain in my lower abdomen. I felt like I had to pee constantly. There was spotting between periods, cramping that lingered for days after a long run. My body was trying to talk to me—screaming, honestly—but I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to push through.

When I stopped training and waited for a doctor’s appointment, my symptoms eased up. But my mind didn’t. I spiraled into frustration. I should be fine by now. I should be able to do this. My body should be strong enough. I should be further along.

Should. Should. Should.

That word can really mess with your head, especially postpartum.

The truth is, I’ve been struggling to connect with my body ever since becoming a mom. I think a lot of us do. It’s not that we can’t hear our bodies—it’s that we’ve been tuning them out for so long in order to survive. During pregnancy and the newborn phase, your body is giving, giving, giving. Then comes the marathon of early motherhood—sleepless nights, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, navigating constant changes—and suddenly, you realize you haven’t truly checked in with yourself in months. Maybe longer. For me, here we are 19.5 months later and writing this is a way of truly checking in. 

I thought training for a half marathon would be my way back to myself. A declaration of independence, a commitment to my health and goals. And in some ways, it was. But in other ways, it showed me just how far I’d drifted from my own intuition.

When I finally got in to see the doctor, she recommended 12 weeks of pelvic floor physical therapy and strength training before I even think about running again. It was a little devastating, but also strangely freeing. I’m not doing the half marathon. Not now. Instead, I’m focusing on healing—really healing—and letting go of the pressure to prove anything. Does it sting a little? Yeah. 

I think this is what the universe wanted to show me all along: the importance of slowing down and reconnecting. That postpartum isn’t just about recovering physically—it’s a soul journey back to yourself. It’s about rebuilding trust with your body, listening when it whispers instead of waiting for it to scream.

The journey to reclaiming your body and intuition postpartum isn’t linear. It’s messy, emotional, humbling. But it’s also sacred. We are rediscovering the wisdom we were born with—the knowing that we’ve buried under societal pressure, expectations, and the daily grind of motherhood.

If you’re in a season where you feel disconnected from your body, your goals, or even your sense of self, I want you to know: you’re not alone. And there’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t have to be “back to normal.” Maybe this season isn’t about bouncing back at all. Maybe it’s about grounding down, listening deeply, and honoring where you are—with tenderness, not shame.

So for now, I’m taking it one step at a time. Moving slowly. Rebuilding strength. And more than anything, practicing presence. Because this version of me—this mother, this woman—is worth listening to.

And so is yours.